Last week the New York Times encroached on our turf with news articles and a podcast episode announcing that for many families, “school feels optional” since the pandemic. The reporters focus on the serious increase of “chronic absenteeism” at public schools, which has doubled from 15% to 28% in recent years. According to their data, the rates have approximately doubled for all income groups and races.

The New York Times presents this situation as an urgent and serious problem, and you can use the links above to read and hear their presentation and concerns. In fact, they are asking for your thoughts as well. Briefly, they share concerns for both students’ well-being and for our wider community stability.

As you might suspect, I see things rather differently from them. I am sorry that so many young people are unable or unwilling to sustain a commitment to attending school regularly. Unpredictable attendance is emotionally hard on students and parents, and it creates myriad problems for teachers and schools. This haphazard pattern of absenteeism does indicate some level of trouble among young people, and that is worth investigating further. When we use the phrase, “Learning is natural. School is optional,” we mean something far more deliberate, planned, and intentional than random attendance.

You know that North Star has seen teens thrive without attending or completing high school, and that our culture offers plenty of options for teens who choose a different path. Also, we know that many people graduate from high school without internalizing much significant learning and unimpressive transcripts. Given a bit of time, support, and resources, most young people manage to move along to young adulthood after a limited or unsuccessful school experience. Therefore, we see this increase in absenteeism with curiosity more than alarm.

In this moment, I thought I might share what we are seeing among teens and families joining North Star as one window on the state of youth and families as it relates to schooling. We have had 93 inquiries since last spring about joining North Star for the 2023-2024 academic year, and about 40 of them have joined. Another 10 are actively considering North Star for this spring or for next year. Using these 50 intake stories for data, I have a small window to offer on this situation. Keep in mind that families mostly call us when they have a problem, and that most students attending school regularly and contentedly are not seeking alternatives. In the most general terms, and recognizing that many teens might fit into more than one category and the numbers are therefore a bit arbitrary, consider:

  • Approximately 30% of our inquiries are already independently homeschooling. They are interested in seeing whether North Star will be a useful addition to their lives. For the most part, these teens and families are not considering going to a school, though in the coming years some of them may enroll in high school. While these students are mostly healthy teens seeking enrichment, sometimes we meet families that have chosen to homeschool for some of the difficult reasons outlined below, and things are not going smoothly. In many cases, North Star turns out to be an ideal community for them; in some cases we are not the right match.

  • Approximately 30% of our inquiries are teens who are socially unhappy in school. Some are being bullied, others have no friends, or have stress around their social status. Some feel in conflict with adults. They are still going to school and keeping up with their work, but they no longer want to attend a place that makes them feel unhappy. Generally, North Star does well by these students, meaning that our teen members are generally empathetic and welcoming. North Star aims to offer a kind community, or at least a neutral, respectful community, where everyone can feel safe.

     

    • Approximately 20% of our inquiries are teens who are no longer attending school due to mental health reasons. They have depression, anxiety, or other serious issues. Some have been enrolled in “partial-hospitalization” programs. They are often still enrolled in a school, and they may be offered various services or formal programs that they find unappealing. Many of these teens find starting at North Star to be its own difficult first step, though once they make it in our door they tend to find our program helpful.
    • Approximately 15% of our inquiries are actively resisting school. They may have friends at school, and they may even have been doing well in terms of grades and achievement. However, at some point they have decided they are no longer willing to attend. These “resisters” find school to be too rigid, overbearing, and self-important. They don’t see the need to learn what school requires, and they choose to no longer comply. These young people are rather surprised when they come in to North Star for a first meeting expecting us to be some sort of school, and I tell them they are heroic. Over time, most of these teens enjoy our community and are able to define interests worthy of their effort.

    One note: as I have written elsewhere, I estimate that about 67%-75% of these young people are managing their lives quite well outside of school issues. That is, they have hobbies and interests, they have reasonably stable families, they have some friends and acquaintances, and they have some basic weekly routine. Their academic abilities are least “average,” such that they can succeed in their schoolwork when they choose to do it. Their major difficulty in life is, specifically, school. When they can remove that core item, they can make healthy adjustments.

    The New York Times is describing an entirely different problem. In their view, people treating school as “optional” is a crisis. It would be interesting to learn more about what these students are doing when they are not attending school. The assumption seems to be that they are “doing nothing.” I suggest it is possible that some of these youth may be doing fine, or even thriving outside of school, either independently or in organized after-school and weekend activities.

    Approximately 5% of our inquires start with the statement, “My child is autistic,” or “My child has a sleep disorder,” or has some other learning difference. These teens do not fit into any of the categories above, but they have not found independent homeschooling to be a suitable alternative. Our program allows them the time and space to set their own priorities, and this flexibility goes a long ways towards improving their situations.

    I oversimplify, but The New York Times’ message is “The pandemic has ruined our kids, and they are not recovering.” This may be true. I would be happy to be part of a larger conversation with a wider vision about the nature of the problem and possible solutions.

    In the meantime, New York Times, stop messing with our slogan! “School is Optional” is an optimistic message!