If we were building an educational system from scratch today, I doubt many of us would choose a compulsory system focused on standardized test scores as a measurement of learning.  One way of sharing my doubt is through the following analogy.  Just to be clear, I do not endorse the following plan. This piece is satire.

America suffers from an obesity epidemic! The statistics prove it. Americans are so fat that they are sick.  Heart Disease, Diabetes, and many more illnesses grow from this epidemic.  The loss in productivity due to obesity is staggering, and the government needs to act.

Here’s an original plan to save America:

Mandatory Cafeterias for the Young!

The chief reason so many Americans are so fat is that they develop bad eating habits as children.  Kids like to eat cookies and potato chips and wash them down with soda.  Parents aren’t able or willing to limit their children’s consumption of junk food, and in many cases don’t have much information on how to cook healthy meals.  If we want to turn around the obesity epidemic, we can’t rely on parents.  We need the government to step in and teach healthy eating habits to the young before they become obese.  We can make sure that children eat well and develop lifelong habits if we act now.

Let’s require that children eat their meals at government approved cafeterias and restaurants.  We will provide three meals per day that include just the right balance of nutrition, carefully designed by the best experts.

Children will be required to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner at selected eating establishments in their neighborhoods.  If necessary, public transportation can be arranged to bring children to these places.

The diet will center on the four food groups as established years ago.  Some people may want the new-fangled food pyramid, but the four food groups have more tradition.

In each meal, children will receive some dairy, some protein, some grains, and some fruits and vegetables.  Generally, these will be served separately, as they are better measured that way.

At the cafeterias, children will sit at assigned tables, in assigned spots.  Nutrition monitors will be trained to sit at the tables and see that each child eats the complete serving.  These monitors will observe and record whether children eat their full servings of each food group, and video cameras will record the trays as they are returned.  This data will be reported back to the cafeteria administrators and parents.

Children whose records show inadequate eating habits will be identified and held accountable for making up the servings they don’t complete at meals.  

At least once per year, children will be weighed and measured for a body mass index assessment.  Children identified as obese will be required to have their snacking habits investigated.

Because proper nutrition is so important, and obesity such a predictor of illness and lack of productivity, children will be required to obtain a certificate from their local cafeteria showing compliance when they reach age 18.  Employers will be encouraged to demand this certificate from employees.  The certificate will be required for those who plan to attend public colleges. Most private colleges can be expected to join in this public campaign to improve America’s health by similarly requiring that applicants have their nutrition certificates and share their cafeteria records prior to admission.

Special Accommodations
Public cafeterias will have special tables and rooms for people with food allergies. Special nutrition experts will design ways to make up for the variances from the four food groups as needed to respond to allergies.

Vegetarians may identify themselves, and will be accommodated when they prove that they are in fact vegetarians.  Special forms and processes will be developed for vegans and other radical diets.

Public cafeterias will strive to recognize religious and cultural food preferences as best they can within the four-food group diet designed by the experts.  Children who keep kosher or celebrate Ramadan will have an opportunity to explain themselves and request the accommodations they will need.

Exemptions
Eating at the public cafeterias will be free for children if they go to their assigned local cafeteria.  Limited opportunities may exist for children to eat at a different public cafeteria, depending on whether each cafeteria chooses to participate in reciprocal programs.

Children may opt out of the public cafeterias if they purchase meals at an approved restaurant.  Children must demonstrate that they are eating at these restaurants and are maintaining good health.

Local cafeterias may propose special themes for themselves, and accept non-local children as long as the food served conforms to the four-food group plan designed by the experts. 

Role of Parents
Generally speaking, parents will not be welcome to eat at the cafeterias. Children will need to focus on the expectations of their nutrition monitor.

Cafeterias may send children out with snacks to eat between meals.  Parents are expected to see that their children eat these snacks.

Parents will be expected to come to the cafeterias twice per year to meet their children’s nutrition monitor.

Behavior and Dress Codes for the Cafeterias
Table manners will be required.  Each cafeteria may establish its own rules, but one can expect that rules will include cultural assumptions such as napkins in the lap, no elbows on the table, chewing with the mouth closed, and utensils used only in the approved manner.

Cafeterias will establish further rules for its building, such as forbidding hats at the table or throughout the building, limits on loud talking, and clear expectations for when and where children may walk.  One can assume that running and playing will be discouraged.  Presumably cell phones and other electronic devices will be prohibited during meal times.  Finally, children will be expected to use the restrooms before or after meals, but never during a meal unless they have specific permission from their table monitor.

Children who violate the rules may be sent to the office of Cafeteria Director.  Cafeterias may set up special rooms, including isolation rooms, for children with bad manners or who refuse to cooperate with the standard rules.

Eating at Home
Parents who think they can offer better nutrition than the public cafeterias may submit a proposal to their local cafeteria administrator.  Any proposal for home-cooking must be approved before it is begun.  Families who do not comply will be open to investigation by the State Department of Social Services.

Imagine that years or decades or a century after this system is implemented it has become the accepted norm.  People will look at home-cookers and see them as audacious, arrogant, and private.  Most people would never dream they had the capacity to plan their children’s meals, and most would not want such a responsibility.  A few brave souls would raise healthy children outside of the cafeteria model, but they would be dismissed as extraordinary. 

2011 New Story:  https://abcnews.go.com/Health/w_DietAndFitness/high-tech-cameras-record-kids-food-choices-school/story?id=13580482