Our current political drama involving a courageous whistleblower reporting on the President of the United States of America offers a powerful teaching moment for all of us who work with young people. Over the years, we have always encouraged our teen members to understand the difference between being a “whistleblower” and being a “tattletale.” We start by confronting the childhood cliché, “Snitches get stitches.” It is a sad moment for me that instead of referring to adolescent behavior I am currently discussing the actions of our country’s most powerful adults.
At North Star’s community meetings, we impress upon our teen members that our community’s structure depends on trust. We do not supervise teens here in any ordinary way. Our members enjoy freedom both inside and outside of our building to move about without being watched by adults. This arrangement could not work for long if it were abused. Therefore, the teens who value this situation must share in protecting it from those who might ruin it for everyone. Our community needs to be aware of violations such as drug use, theft, bullying, and anti-social behaviors and then take immediate steps to stop them and resolve trust issues with the violators. Any tolerance by teens or adults of violations of our norms would demean our community and likely unravel our ability to operate as we prefer.
In a simplistic way, a “tattletale” is a person reporting on someone for the joy of getting the other person “in trouble.” They find it fun to cause tension and disruption for their peers or the adults in the community, and they may find the process of investigation and conflict resolution a source of personal entertainment. At North Star, we have no patience or acceptance for this sort of behavior.
A “whistleblower” is reporting behavior that is making people uncomfortable and posing a threat to the community. They may report what they have seen to a friend, a parent, or a staff member. They may choose to remain anonymous because they fear retribution from the perpetrators or others. However, they take a risk in telling us what they have seen and trust us to protect them because they are worried for our community. One North Star staff member tells young people that this important action is called “Asking for help.”
When North Star teens see a peer selling drugs, shoplifting from a local store, or threatening another teen on social media, they often feel afraid or angry. They may not feel powerful enough to confront a violator, but they sense that this behavior might spiral quite badly if left unchecked. “Asking for help” is a mature and necessary step for the sake of protecting our community. Living in silence and fear allows the perpetrators to create new norms.
These ideas are not hard to understand. But they are hard to implement. It takes time for teens to develop respect and concern for our community that is different from what they likely experienced at previous schools. It takes effort and long-term behavior for North Star staff to earn the trust of our members that we value their concerns and will act in good faith with the information they share. It takes some re-training to see that reporting violations of community trust is a positive, protective behavior of social norms and not a childish triviality of getting someone in trouble.
In our current political climate, the whistleblowers who have shared their knowledge about the President’s actions are heroes. I am deeply reassured that our government has honorable civil servants who are now risking their careers and perhaps even their personal safety to demonstrate their concern for our country.
I hope that as we all follow this story, we consider the sense of responsibility, integrity, and courage that whistleblowing demands. I find it utterly disgraceful that some people are using the childish terms of “snitches” and “tattletales” in relation to the inspiring people who are role models for all of us. I hope we all might use this moment to re-consider our vocabulary and create a new set of modern heroes we might emulate in our personal lives.
