It’s Back to School time, or Not Back to School among many of the people I know. I generally cringe at the jokes made at children’s expense regarding this time, but I do have a soft spot for Bill Waterson and Calvin and Hobbes. In fact, I have discovered that some fine soul has created a website of Calvin’s Not Back to School antics!
As a student, I looked forward to this time of year and learning which of my friends would be in my classes and discovering who my teachers would be for the coming year. As an adult teacher of 8th graders, however, I began to feel the stress and anxiety that seems to be more common for students. I worried about questions such as “Would I be good enough to manage my classes?,” “Would my supervisors think I was doing a good job?,” and “Would my colleagues see me as a professional colleague?” I began to empathize with the fears and discomfort many students feel on the first day of school.
Since then, I don’t really joke about this time of year. I have come to share the concerns of Peter Gray and Kerry McDonald, who write about research studies that correlate young people’s mental health woes to the annual school calendar. While I understand that some humor can be found in parents feeling relieved of the stress of caring for children at home during the summer, I don’t find it funny that kids don’t like going to a place that they are legally required to attend. Even though teens dreading the fall is a ritual so old and familiar most of us don’t notice or take it seriously, I think it is in fact serious business.
At the same time, Not Going Back to School is serious business, too. Many people may joke about North Star not having requirements or offering an easy alternative for teens, but up close and personal I can report that this view is mistaken. Many of the teens at North Star do feel stress about whether they will be “doing enough,” or if how they spend their time will “count” for anything meaningful. They also worry about finding friends and fitting into a social environment. Choosing a homeschooling or unschooling path is not a panacea for stress.
This (Not) Back to School process is larger than just the first day or the first week. One new thirteen year old member of North Star told me this week about his confusion regarding what to do when his younger siblings both went to school for their first days. He stayed home and felt uncomfortable. What do you say to such a person?
I told him he could view himself as having one more week of vacation if he liked. Or, even though North Star hasn’t opened yet, he could consider starting his homeschooling projects that day: read a book, work on his math curriculum, or go deeper into his computer programming ambitions, as examples. He also likes to mountain bike, and I suggested he go for a ride every day that week and get a map and highlighters and keep track of all of his routes. He likes to cook, so perhaps he could make something for his family’s dinner that evening. This young fellow also likes to golf, so as a fellow golfer I amused myself by encouraging him to consider his time at the driving range or playing nine holes as time very well spent!
Seriously, it is hard for any of us to know what counts. What this young person needs most of all is to develop a sense of confidence within himself to declare a day well spent. This confidence develops over months or years, however, not days. When he succeeds, his time involved with self-directed learning with North Star will have been extraordinarily worthwhile. In some respects, I imagine he has much in common with newly retired adults whose friends are still working. Mostly, I encouraged him to view himself as an explorer, to take himself seriously, and not to gloat about not going to school with his siblings. (Unlike Hobbes!)
The fall season holds conflicting sentiments in our culture. It is the end of the farming year, with the celebratory harvest festivals and county fairs throughout September and October, culminating with Thanksgiving. As a Jewish person, it is both our new year and a time for serious reflection about last year. For young people, though, it is mostly the beginning of a new year, full of potential, optimism, and hope. This summer I have met many teens who have listened to my description of self-directed learning and North Star, and are currently choosing to try school knowing they have an option if things don’t go as they desire. I send my best wishes to each of those young people choosing school this week. Empowering young people to feel some control and choice over this Back to School moment feels like one of the most important aspects of my work, even when it doesn’t result in new members for North Star. Good luck out there.